Gwyneth Paltrow, Green Eggs, and Vaginas.
Back in January 2015, the actress recommended that her readers squat over a steaming pot of hot water infused with herbs and aromatic plants such as mugwort. According to Gwynie, the process was a thousand-year old Korean medical technique. Doing it will both “cleanse your uterus” and “balance female hormone levels.” Paltrow wrote: “If I find a benefit to it and it’s getting a lot of page views, it’s a win-win.”
But then Women’s Health magazine investigated the $50 process and discovered there are potential damaging side effects (imagine!). These include negatives like a disruption of the natural flora of the vagina. And of course it’s not hard to imagine how V-steaming can cause nasty burns if not carefully administered.
Now the Oscar-nominated actress is back with her latest risqué vajayjay play. Believe it or not, Paltrow wants women to insert a solid jade egg about the size of a golf ball into their vaginas and hold it there all day or night.
On her site Paltrow describes the eggs as, “the strictly guarded secret” ancient Chinese concubines used to please their Emperors. According to Gwynie, the eggs will “increase vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general,” as well as enhance the users’ orgasms.
But according to The Washington Post, Dr. Jen Gunter, an OB/GYN for Kaiser Permanente in San Francisco, called the idea “the biggest load of garbage” she’s read on Goop since vaginal steaming and worse than saying wearing bras is linked to cancer.
Even with Dr. Gunter’s warnings, the $66 dollar eggs are completely sold out.
Here’s the truth:
P.T. Barnum said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.”
Gwyneth Paltrow said, “The first time I tried v-steaming, I was like, ‘This is insane.’ I enjoy trying things. I don’t necessarily endorse all of them, but I like to try them and write about them. It makes for really good content.”
That makes sense only if you define “good content” as what attracts readers and what sells product as opposed to what’s actually true. Perhaps Paltrow is simply using what top presidential aide Kellyanne Conway calls, “alternative facts.” What is unquestionable is that Gwynie has taken her rightful spot on a long list of people who have proven the business benefits of following Barnum’s advice.