LOL, LMAO, IMHO, POS and Other Critical Acronyms.
Posted on July 19th, 2010
Last week I travelled to Racine, Wisconsin to do a much-anticipated job for SC Johnson. As Dan Fogelberg sang, “The audiences were heavenly but the travelling was hell.” I’ll spare you the long drawn out story of my travel travails but suffice to say I wound up spending a lot more time in airports than I expected.
My Delta flight from Miami was so late I missed my 4:20 PM connection in Atlanta. I was quickly put on the next flight and scheduled to leave for Milwaukee at 6:45. Unfortunately that flight was postponed time after time until Delta canceled it altogether at 9:30.
Luckily I was able get a one-way ticket on an AirTran flight scheduled to leave at 10:20. Up until now I have avoided AirTran, remembering that they strategically changed their name from ValueJet right after they stuffed a plane so deep into the Everglades muck that there was nothing left to pull out. But I did need to get to Wisconsin and they had a flight available. Thanks to more delays, that 10:20 flight didn’t leave until 2:30 in the morning but I was still able to make my meetings with SC Johnson (albeit on two hours sleep).
When my work was over, my hosts where nice enough to arrange a tour of their Frank Lloyd Wright designed campus – an afternoon of joy for an architecture groupie like me. Then a quick flight to Detroit where I eagerly checked the connections board only to find five dreaded red letters next to my flight to Miami – “CNCLD.”
Two Delta flights cancelled in two days! And this one meant an overnight stay at the scenic Detroit Airport Clarion Hotel, albeit with two six-dollar meal vouchers from Delta. Who said flying’s not glamorous anymore?
When I posted my plight on Twitter, @Randy_Gage responded that Delta stands for “Doesn’t Ever Leave The Airport” which pretty much fit my experience.
Randy’s tweet, coupled with last week’s blog post “What’s In A Name?” got me wondering what’s in an acronym? FIAT used to stand for “Fix It Again, Tony” and Saab meant “Swedish Automobiles Always Break” and neither brand is sold in the US anymore. Bud is short for “Beer’s UnDrinkable” and I agree with that. TCBY used to stand for “This Can’t Be Yogurt” until they were sued for copyright infringement by the “This Can’t Be Butter” people and changed their acronym to “The Country’s Best Yogurt.” I can’t tell you if that was true but I doubt it.
Some brands have managed to avoid the fate of their acronyms. Ford used to stand for “Fix Or Repair Daily” but seems to have figured out how to build quality cars. And BMW stood for “Break My Window” in the eighties but changed their electronics and cut down on radio theft.
Getting back to my feelings about Delta, I can’t think of a better acronym using their name but I do like IBACDIHBIFWTA which is short for “It’ll Be A Cold Day In Hell Before I Fly With Them Again.”
Love to hear what you think.
29 thoughts on “LOL, LMAO, IMHO, POS and Other Critical Acronyms.”
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By Bruce Turkel
I want to see the Frank Lloyd Wright work. And airlines …
US AIR, memory says it was unfortunately still Allegany in reality. Tough trip but hey not just everyone gets two $6 meal vouchers. And the airport Clarion in Detroit. Let the good times roll. You could not make that stuff up.
Flying has become impossible!!! I will not bore you with my recent adventures but I am now experiencing an extended delay or cancelled flight on 80% of the trips I have flown in the past 12 months. My recent trip to France ended up as a 2 day no sleep odyssey which falls on the shoulders of Delta!!!
IBACDIHBIFWTA
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Bruce, let me give you some advice since I have been travelling to racine for 15 years now working with SCJ.
First, always fly direct to Chicago and drive down to Racine. It’s about 60 minutes in good traffic.
Second, Chicago rental rates are so expensive, it’s almost the same to use a car service.
Third, If you get stuck in Detroit, the Westin in the airport offers comfy rooms and a pretty good restaurant in the lobby.
Fourth, Never get to Racine later than 8:30 pm, you won’t find anyplace open except the Radisson sports bar and believe me, you don’t want to hang there.
Lastly,and I think you know this by now, never take a Delta connection through Atlanta…what were you thinking???
Let me know when you are going to SCJ, maybe we can car pool!
Bruce, this is so damn funny…well, not what happened to you but your narrative … brilliant.. and thanks for that tip – I too will not be FASOD – Flying Anytime Soon on Delta!
World’s Greatest Acronym: SNAFU
Situaion normal, all f’ed up.
I’ll see you and raise you one. Back in the early 70′s I flew home to NJ from Chi-Town. No problem. On the return flight we started from the Philly airport headed for our first stop Pittsburgh. In those days if you flew Alleghany (now US Air) you went thru Pittsburgh. Pitt was fogged in so we headed south to Louisville Ky. Went up to the counter to inquire when the next flight to Chicago boarded. “We have no flights from here to Chicago” I was told. Sooo we had the option of heading back to Pitt and if it was still fogged in, back to Philly. Not good! They asked how many were going to Chicago or Bloomington, Ind (a great little college town and not much else.) They rounded up 8 of us and chartered two twin engine Aztec planes to fly us to Bloomington. My ex-wife wanted a window seat this time (all seats were window seats and one lucky soul got to sit next to our pilot (a Sky King wanna-be complete with cowboy boots and big silver belt buckle!) Upon landing in Bloomington we were told our next plane (a crappy turbo-prop would be there any time now!) I asked, “Hey where is our luggage?” and was told IT made it on a Delta flight and would be in Chicago when we got there. Our crappy plane arrived and off we headed to Chi-town only to be told they was snowed in and we could not land. We were routed to Indianapolis where we spent the night. I was coming down with the London Flu and was near death when we finally arrived in Chicago the next day almost 24 hours from our take off. SOME of our bags were there, but my 1960′s Gibson SG Junior was NOT! After months of arguing with Alleghany Airlines and threatening to go to their terminal at O’Hare every day with a sign saying how they screwed over a poor student, they agreed to a settlement. Their quote “Since it wasn’t completely your fault…” has stuck in my crawl to this day. MY FAULT? The only thing I did wrong was fly their airline which I said I would never do again and in 30+ years I never have! The kicker is that my SG Junior would be worth about $5K-10K now. I only hope the thief is at least playing the blues with it!
Deny
Bruce, LMAO! Reminds me of my days of extensive travel to the Caribbean. Because we had a barter hotel room nights for air tickets program, we used BWIA and not once do I ever recall an ‘on time’ experience. BWIA was affectionately (not) known as – ‘But Will It Arrive’. The brand did not survive and was relaunched as Caribbean Airlines – not that this has improved their ‘on time’ scheduling any!
Bruce – LOL, again!
I did “laugh out loud” once or twice. One I always find funny is for cell phone provider Metro PCS: Metro PieCe a Shit.
Glad to hear it went well at SC Johnson and that you kept your sense of humor through it all.
I love your wit in describing your travels. I concur on the Delta analysis. I avoid whenever possible. My last trip with them- July 2008- trying to get to vacation home in North Carolina. Flight was one of those-through Atlanta. Last flight of the day Friday night –I think July 3. (never again). They moved us from gate to gate for a couple of hours and then cancelled the flight at midnight. In short, offered me confirmed space on Monday flight and a voucher for two free drinks (onboard.) Ha! I could have used them in the terminal. No vouchers for hotel- they had given them all away because of other catastrophes during the day which were blamed on acts of God throughout the country. I spent the night freezing in the terminal where all stores were closed. In retrospect, I should have banged on the VIP lounge and demanded a blanket or coffee or something. I spent most of the time playing cards with a couple of stranded soldiers. I honestly don’t know where the rest of the people went. I think some rented cars and got out of Dodge. I managed to get on 6:00 a.m. flight as standby- amazing what can happen when you are first at the gate!! No apology ever for this incident.
Now as for AirTran! I forgot about the renaming. I do recall the incident of the Everglades. HOWEVER- I fly AirTran non-stop to Asheville-great flight, no disappointments. On one occasion, they detected an issue that needed correction and flew us into Greenville SC because there was a mechanic there(whereas in Asheville there was not.) We got on another plane and on our way with only a two hour difference in arrival time. Within a couple of weeks there was a letter from AirTran apologizing for the inconvenience and giving me a $100 voucher on a future flight! I cannot complain.
Sorry about the long babbling. I am passionate about the issue of airlines owning you once you buy a ticket and not the other way around. My husband worked for Eastern Airlines for 18 years and customer service was paramount. When we flew passes – we had to be dressed up and deport ourselves with respect to all. The sad thing is – after all the years – no retirement benefit from Eastern. Wah –wah.
Keep up the news – I love it. I enjoy your take on things.
Unfortunately, I have to agree with you about Delta. I recently took a vacation trip ( not business like yours) so I assumed everything was going to be fun, fun, fun. On my way to Nashville , Tenn. the flight was delayed but I was lucky enough to catch my connecting flight in Atlanta. We were 3 hours late but were smart enough not to schedule any paid tours for that day so we didn’t miss anything or lose our money. However, my timing wasn’t good since this vacation was two weeks after the floods in Nashville so Opryland was closed as well as many other places. We had pre-booked the flight and hotel thru some online service and had to go or lose over 500.00.
Our return trip was a nightmare. We were to depart at 4 PM but was told there was a mechanical problem and it would take “ an hour and a half” to get a mechanic to check out the plane. A mechanic finally appeared and than they said “they located the problem but had to fly in the part from Atlanta”. The flight would be delayed 5 ½ hours but if we got to Atlanta there would not be a connecting flight that night. They were kind enough to put us up at a hotel with our six dollar meal tickets. The next morning ( 6:30 AM) we got to the airport and they loaded us on the airplane knowing that the weather was bad in Atlanta. After an hour and a half delay, I asked the flight attendant for the phone number for Delta but she said look it up on the internet. I told her I had a phone not a computer. I got the number from a fellow passenger and when I called I was told I could re-book a connecting flight in case I didn’t get there in time. I would be assigned another flight 5 hours later but once I cancelled I couldn’t get on the earlier flight in the event I got there in time. Incidentally, they originally told me there were no flights until the next day but when I told them I was in first class they found a flight. To add to the insult while I was at the airport trying to leave Nashville I looked at the screen and saw that Southwest Airlines had a non-stop flight . Unfortunately, Southwest does not advertise their flights on anyone else’s websites.
Moral of the story….Do not book anything without insurance or thru an online service. Book directly with the hotel or the airlines. I’ve found out that if you call the hotel directly you can probably get a better deal directly.
FORD now means first on race day……..
In a series of emails with my son I ended with LOL. Which I believed was the acronym for “Lots Of Love”.
At the end of the final series of our emails which often dealt with critical differences we had in politics and other areas of interest. He informed me that at times the LOL was often quite appropriate and at other times it made no sense at all. And did I realize that it stood for “Laugh Out Loud”?
You can well imagine my chagrin followed by a resounding LOL.
Bruce, in the Caribbean it is LIAT airlines, (Leave Island Any Time. Last time it was a 24 hours delayed departure, from Saint Thomas to Sint Maarten………BanuDadlani
Good essay, Bruce, but I disagree with your evaluation of Budweiser!
When I worked on a European airline account the joke was that Sabena stood for such a bad experience, never again! As for Racine — worked on SC Johnson’s Curel skin lotion for a couple years; their HQ is amazing.
I think all the airlines are terrible. It’s just a matter of picking the one that did the most terrible things to you most recently. That’s the one you hate until another airline does you in.
The airline are unique in how they survive with customer service that makes the cable company look good.
I’m “Platinum for life”. That gets me lots of upgrades. When something goes wrong, I still dial the same number as everyone else. 1-800-WeDoNotGiveADamn.
Bruce,
I always fly American Airlines…they may not be perfect but they have the most direct flights out of Miami and even if there are delays you typically get home the same day.
I always thought BMW stood for “Break My Wallet?”
Bruce, I have to concur with Joe Z; I worked on the international side of the SCJ account for 7 years. The ONLY way is to fly to Chicago, drive to Racine, which is 2 hours if you are normal and 1 1/2 hours or less if you are driving with a crazy ex-CanAm racer called Stew Guthrie. And that was on a rental!
The FLW buildings are great. Next time, convince them to take you to Winbridge
Sorry about your travels. I banned Delta 2 years ago and have not flown since after losing luggage twice on the same trip (to and from). You can’t use Atlanta as a connector. Never on time and baggage typically follows you on the next flight. The service agents at JFK are the rudest people I have ever met (although it is hard to find any airline today with friendly agents). Can’t blame them much, if I got yelled at every day I would not be all that happy either.
As I commute to Miami weekly I have found Southwest to be ok. American has improved slightly. Jetblue is great, if you can avoid JFK (which is almost impossible since it is their main hub). The airline industry is just horrific right now. The consolation is that most other industries are as well. Are we all beginning to settle because of the new world economic order being created. Sad but true, but the optimists will prevail and if nothing else, “make the best of it” in all we do.
Delta!! Are you kidding?
So, I had to go to Mumbai for a two week consulting gig and the best connections were through Paris on Air France which partners with — are you ready? — Delta! So, Delta’s Miami-Paris flight got sidetracked by a mechanical problem and they wanted to fly me to Atlanta to connect with another flight to Paris. T-storms in Atlanta and you know the rest.
So, they fly me to Newark and put me up overnight at the No-tell Motel and fly me to Paris the next day to pick the same connecting flight 24 hours later. I arrive in Mumbai and do you think they could get my luggage to India with an extra 24 hours to get it there? Of course not. Where are the bags? Paris. How did they get there? Who knows? All I know is that I have been in travel mode for 59 hours, it’s 2 AM in Mumbai and I’ve got a warm bed waiting at the JW Marriott. However, before I go I have to fill out a form and hand over my Passport so some guy in a T-shirt and sandals can run to the nearest photocopier (don’t ask me where) and take a picture of it.
Next day, I hire a car to take me to the mall so I can buy some clothes before I head out to Bangalore for the second leg of my trip.
I’ll tell you about the shopping trip when you do a blog on Malls.
D-E-L-T-A
Doesn’t-Everyone-Loathe-This-Airline
Preach on, Preach on!!
Just got back from a Detroit trip for a client booked on Delta last night.
Spent 2 hours on the tarmac after an hour delay which meant three hours without air or water stuck on the plane (seemingly, they can’t open their drink carts while on the runway), and then waited while they refused to cancel the flight in the hopes that the problem would be fixed in the next 4-6 hours (read: they didnt want to issue refunds and vouchers). Finally got in about 12 hours later on a different airline and caught a dinner with my team in Michigan at 2AM in a diner near the hotel.
If they are going to have constant issues like this, they could at least develop more reasonable contingency plans…
MW
INTBIBIMITBN: It’s nice to be important but it’s more important to be nice.
Before you snicker, know that in around 1983 I attended a motivational lecture in which the speaker actually recommended using “int bibby mitt bin” as a helpful reminder to use good manners at all times. Kinda catchy, don’t you think?
When it comes to airline flying, take a deep breath and bend over (or you can bend over first, your choice)…you’re going to feel a little bit of discomfort. As a pilot, I’m glad when they find things on the ground that when discovered in the air make you wish you were on the ground. What frosts my keester is the airlines’ lack of customer service and customer concern. They have us over a barrel unless you can afford private jet travel or don’t mind spending time on a Greyhound Bus with groups whose last shower was 5 days ago! “Sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight.” Bite me!
Hey Bruce,
What did you think of the Frank Lloyd Wright design and influence?
On the travails of travel, I can’t seem to escape the thought that we the people have been lost in the business plan. Banks offer more fees and less interest for savings accounts, airlines charge more and sometimes actually get us and our belongings to our destination kind of on time. Political parties telling us what to do instead of representing us.It seems like the tail wagging the dog again. Is the real message in all of this that we don’t exist in the computations of what is good for the “bottom line”? Are they REALLY trying to just get rid of us? (We are alot of bother I guess.)
2 Things:
First, right on the Delta thing. I still can’t figure out why airlines have forgotten they’re in the passenger business.
Second, it was Dan Fogelberg, not Jackson Browne. The song was “Same Auld Lange Syne.”
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Excellent stuff.