The Deadbeat Brand
Posted on May 29th, 2012
Have you ever been witness to the Pocket Pat? When it’s done well, it’s a thing of beauty, lemme tell you.
I was invited to lunch by a guy I’ll call Lloyd. He’s a successful local businessman and pretty wired into the goings-on in South Florida. When the bill came for our lunch, Lloyd made a flourish of snatching the check from the waiter and announced that it was his treat. He snapped open the restaurant’s little vinyl folder, examined the charge, and reached for his billfold. That’s when I witnessed the Pocket Pat as performed by a master.
Lloyd looked up at me with a look of abject horror as he went through the motions of patting down each of the pockets in his suit. “I must have left my billfold on my dresser at home,” he said. “I’m so sorry. It was my treat.”
“Was” clearly was the key word. I picked up the check and handed the waiter my credit card.
Months later, Lloyd called me to get together for lunch again. Now I might be crazy but I’m not stupid, and I really didn’t relish getting together with him and watching the Pocket Pat again. After all, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice — well, you know what happens then.
But before I could beg off, Lloyd reminded me that he owed me lunch from the last time and it was his treat. He’d be sure to remember his wallet. Okay, so maybe I was wrong. Maybe he really did forget his wallet. I forget things all the time. It could happen to anyone.
Near the end of the meal, Lloyd answered a call on his cellphone. After listening to the phone for a minute or so, his face drained of all color and contorted in pain. “Oh my God, I’ll be right there,” he said as he hung up.
The he mumbled something about having to attend to an emergency while he absentmindedly reached into his pocket and threw a bill on the table as he ran off.
When I finally looked down I found a dollar bill laying there. “He must have meant to leave more,” I thought, “but was clearly distracted. An honest mistake.”
I paid the other 27 bucks.
Stupidly, I agreed to have lunch with him again a few months later. Not because I wanted to pay a third time, but because I needed to ask him about a particular piece of business that he was privy to. Plus, I figured he’d already exhausted his bag of tricks and wouldn’t dare try to shaft me again.
But you know what they say about fighting with a pig — in a word, don’t. They’ll just pull you down to their level and cover you with mud. Plus, the pig enjoys it.
This time I was in a hurry and told Lloyd, who I was now referring to as Pocket Pat (just not to his face) that I had a hard stop at 12:50 and would have to leave then. We picked a cash-only Cuban restaurant near my office. Service was slow and we didn’t get done until almost 1:00, so when the $17 bill came I was really in a hurry. Pocket Pat again made a flourish of pulling out his billfold, but wouldn’t you know it, all he had was a hundred. Well, we could always wait for the waiter to get change (did I mention that I was now 15 minutes late?). I threw a twenty on the table and rushed off to my next meeting.
So why am I telling you all this? Is it because I enjoy telling people I like and respect that I’m a chump? Hardly.
The point of this blog is to talk about branding and Pocket Pat has certainly developed his own brand. After all, as Dov Seidman writes in his book How, “How you do anything is how you do everything,” and needless to say, I’m not the only one Pocket Pat has snookered. As my former partner Phil Schwartz used to say, “If they’ve screwed you, they’ve screwed everyone else.” And being the gossipy little biatches we are, we all talk about it. So Pocket Pat is known around town as a conniving deadbeat.
You see, brands are created whether you decide to build them carefully and compulsively or do nothing at all and just let them develop. The problem is, you only have so much control over what people think of your brand to begin with. And if you’re not scrupulously managing your messaging and activities, you’re abdicating responsibility to lots of forces outside your control, many of which are eager to see you fail — or at least laugh at you behind your back.
Saab didn’t control their brand. Instead of consistently standing for something emotional and focused, they kept grasping at straws and searching for meaning. What happened? While their Swedish countrymen, Volvo, became one of the most profitable European brands in the United States, Saab has been passed from hand to hand and may or may not be out of business by the time you read this.
Sarah Palin didn’t control her brand. Given the opportunity to run for one of the most powerful and prestigious offices in the world, she didn’t do her homework and prepare for news interviews. Instead she watched her public persona dwindle from superstar to question mark to laughing stock. Sure, she built a name for herself and put some money in the bank, but at what cost?
Puerto Rico didn’t control its brand. Once one of the most desirable tropical tourist destinations in the world, years of inconsistent messaging and an island-wide obsession with the Statehood vs. Commonwealth fight has eroded the brand so thoroughly that the Dominican Republic — still arguably a Third World country — has eaten PR’s lunch, fufu and all.
Like Pocket Pat, all these brands lost market share because their actions were not in lockstep with their messaging and chipped away at their marketability. As we’ve said many times before in this blog, “People don’t buy what you do, they buy who you are.” And if the who you are does not present people with a consistent and compelling image of what’s in it for them, they probably won’t buy at all.
Unless it’s lunch. And you’re with Pocket Pat.
28 thoughts on “The Deadbeat Brand”
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By Bruce Turkel
Most of my business lunch partners develop cramps when they put their hands in their pocket. I am constantly amazed by the number of business owners who do not respond to communications from their customers, or should I say former customers.
I’ll buy you lunch anytime, Gerry. Thanks for weighing in.
Bruce, I meant to respond to your blog post, but I think I left my mouse in my other suit. Sorry man, I’ll post next time. Seriously though, good article, good point.
Bruce, I’d be thrilled to buy you lunch. Say when and where.
Jonathan
funny and true. a good post.
Great blog Bruce! Unfortunately we have seen many Pocket Pat’s both literally and figuratively on in our past…
Hahahahahaaa!!!! Ya…I think I know that guy….too funny.
Love your stories. Just plain good reading. Thanks.
Wonderful story.
You’re so right, Fernando. And it’s not always lunch, is it?
A very effective and well-written article. The use of Pocket Pat to convey deadbeat branding issues was very clever and unforgettable. Thank you.
A very effective and well-written article. The use of “Pocket Pat” to convey deadbeat branding issues was clever and unforgettable. Thank you.
This hit home. Great story. Thanks
This is a classic example of someone saving a few bucks but paying so much more in the long run.
If someone legitimately forgot his or her wallet, then that person should shower the other person with generosity later on. That demonstrates that you’re not an “Inspector Cheapskate” and that you value their generosity.
Otherwise, the underlying motive is pretty obvious.
Loved it! Why don’t U bring PP to one of our breakfasts? We will fix him.
DR is a 3rd world country. No argument there. You are so right about PR missing the bus. There’s only so much Menudo and the coqui could do.
Always a brilliant read.
I’ve been a bit perplexed about this idea of creating brand. For us in particular, creating an interior design brand has been a bit of a struggle with understanding if we are the brand or if our company is the brand we represent…. We do things like send gifts to clients from our company name signed by us… So I guess we’re both? But I would think that a personal brand has a different strategy than a company brand and if you don’t focus on one are you thusly not focused on either?
We have all witnessed this type of deadbeat in many different types of businesses and it does impact their brand. In the hiring talent business this happens when you send a candidate and later they go behing your back and offer the job to the candidate and tell them it is just between us; no need to tell the recruiting firm. I agree with your old partner, if they will screw us, they will do to them too. It shows their true character.
Bruce, that was awesome. I have met more Pocket Pats than i can remember. The difference is i have never gotten to number 3. Speaking of Pocket Pat, i still owe you a call for lunch. I will try to forget my wallet!!!
Many years ago, I did business with a guy named Bill Deal (that was his real name). After a while, he developed a behind the back nickname too. You guessed it… Bill No Deal. Thanks for reminding of a funny guy in my past by telling a funny story about the present. BTW, if you think of Saab’s homonym, you shouldn’t be surprised.
This post resonates with me and what I have told students who I’ve mentored about the importance of maintaining their personal brand. All you have is your word and it needs to count for something.
Seems as though you have been marked as the easy ‘touch’ for free lunch. I have been a victim also. May I also remind you, Bruce; you and I are Sagittarius – we love to give people the benefit of the doubt and are very optimistic which may also lead, occasionally to ‘Chump-Dom’! Welcome to the Club
With love and affection.
Very good read, specially since we’ve all dealt with a Pat or two. Nicely segued too.
Like they said on Kung Fu, Katie, “the answer is in the question, Grasshopper.” You need to make a strategic decision on what you are going to focus on and spend your energies creating and building THAT brand.
Not that we all haven’t eaten our share of free lunches and bought just as many for others, maybe we should turn the business world on its head and always go dutch. That way no one ever feels like they’re owing a favor or being bought and our conversations can truly transform into the kinds of partnerships build on mutual intellectual, financial and relationship investment. On the other hand, I’d pay for lunch with Bruce Turkel pretty much any day of the week.
Next time you have lunch start out informing the server you will need two checks. I know it wasn’t the point of your post, but it is a solution to the Pocket Pat.
I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks, Chuck.
…then there’s Later Larry who closes every conversation with, “Let’s do lunch.” Larry never follows-up to make a plan. And what about Annie Again? She accepts your lunch invitation, delights at your stimulating conversation. Her parting words, “We’ll do it again soon. My nickel.” But Annie doesn’t call to extend that invitation. Still, you call to invite her to another lunch. She accepts. And her name soon mysteriously changes to Pocket Pat.